I have been staying home a lot since January already, since South Korea was one of the first countries to be affected, and I was doing pretty well. But then the virus started spreading to Europe and America too and there’s seriously no way to avoid news about it anymore. I have already muted any word that could be associated with this situation on Twitter, to limit the negativity I was taking in every day. Reading about the situation back home makes me feel very frustrated and I’m worried about my family and friends. Also I was really looking forward to seeing my mom again after such a long time, who planned to come here in April because then the weather is nice and there’s beautiful cherry blossoms. I’ve started to realise that will not happen anytime soon, which is really difficult for me.
So this situation wasn’t really affecting me and staying home was fine; until it became a worldwide problem. I’m trying not to actively worry about it, but it’s still in the back of my mind. I want to pick up a book, but after reading five pages, I’m done with it already. I keep trying, but it’s not going that fast. And that’s why there hasn’t been new content yet. Drawing the art that has to go with future blog post on the other hand has been something that I can do sporadically. With some background noise on, I can sometimes manage to draw for hours. But reading, no. Even though I would love to escape in a book.
I’ve seen on the internet that it really helps for other people to keep up with bullet journaling, but that is also not really working for me. I’m staring at my empty monthly and weekly spreads and find myself thinking “Now what? Should I schedule my naps?”. It is starting to make me feel a bit helpless, especially because no one knows how long this will take.
These days I’m binge watching Supernatural during the evenings and on weekends (and I keep saying things to my boyfriend like “Who’s that?” “I don’t remember this.” “Wait, what happened before this again?” So not much focus here too.), playing Animal Crossing New Horizons, and laughing at silly cat TikTok videos. I’m lucky I still get jobs, and when I get to go out of the house and be productive, I feel myself get so much better.
I wanted to write that I’m not giving up on blogging, my comeback post wasn’t an impulsive thing. But things have changed so much, and I’m really having a hard time to focus. I want to read, but I’m not absorbing the information or have a hard time getting into the story. And when I create something, I get frustrated with myself quicker than usual when it doesn’t turn out how I want to.
If anyone is feeling the same way, know you’re not alone. And if you have any tips, please let me know!
Unfortunately I don’t like audiobooks, so that’s not an option for me.